The Attic
by Demira Withers
Summary: Severus and Harry have found a nice life together, but Severus knows something is amis. He just doesn't know what. Warnings: Age-play. No smut. No, nada noppes. The plus is just to be on the safe side. Thnx to the wonderfull Tash again for Beta-ing.


"Harry?"

"Yes, Sev?"

"I've found this hidden door on the attic, but it seems locked with some sort of heavy spell that I can't pick alone. Would you.."

Severus saw Harry paling.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

"Harry?"

"Yes, Sev?"

"We've fixed everything in the house, except the attic. Did you figure out what you want to do with it?"

"I think it's fine as it is. We can just use it to put away our stuff that we don't need right away."

"Yes, that would work."

Severus thought Harry looked almost angry, but there was no indication for that emotion, was there?

"Are you alright, Harry?"

"Why of course I am, what makes you think that I'm not?"

"Is there something going on in the attic?

"Oh, Sev. Why can't you just let it rest? The attic is mine!"

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

"Can you cut a nice tree in the garden? I'll get the decorations from the attic then."

"Getting them? You can just accio them," Harry said, trying to keep the panic from his voice.

"And break it all? I think not."

Severus got up and started walking towards the attic, but never reached it.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

Severus woke up with a weird feeling. It was as if he was forgetting something. A tingling feeling on the back of his head. He had this before. He was pondering about that, until Harry startled him out of it.

"Good morning, love!" Harry gave Severus a big smooch on the lips.

"You sure seem to be a happy camper this morning, Harry! Is there something special?"

Harry grinned. "No, just happy. We finally got all we deserved and I'm glad to be the one whom found that little door into your heart."

"Right. It was rather hard not too. You drive a hard bargain, mister."

It had been hard for the both of them, playing major parts in the war. They had been through a lot, but finally found their peace with each other. They both took their time, but after five years they agreed to find a house for the two of them to fill with happy memories. Severus still maintained his snarky disposition outside their little peaceful haven, but was a loving and tender man towards Harry.

"What would you like for dinner today?" Severus asked.

"You with a cherry on top?" Harry said cheekily.

Severus swooped Harry of his feet and dragged him along to the bedroom. "Sounds good enough to me!"

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

Severus was laying down next to Harry. As always after making love with his Harry, he was enjoying a nice afterglow.

"Sev?"

"Yes, love?"

"Will you stay with me no matter what?" Harry was biting his lip. The question looked very important for him.

"I can't promise you that. Who knows what the future brings. I know that I would hate to lose you. Why this question, love?"

Harry got a pained thoughtful look on his face. "Nothing, Sev. I guess it's just my insecurities shining through."

Severus knew something was amiss. Combined with his strange feelings he had been having these last days and the strange behaviour Harry was sporting he couldn't leave it at that.

"Harry, I know there's something going on. Do not take me for a fool. I haven't survived my years as a spy by ignoring my instinct. There is something wrong, and I would like to know what it is. Don't let me go thinking the worse."

Harry had paled significantly during Severus' little speech. But instead of answering, he drew his wand. "Obliv.."

Before Harry had a chance to utter the whole spell, he was disarmed by Severus' spell. When Severus had Harry's wand in hand he cast a binding spell around Harry for good measures.

His whole face had shut down. Instead there was a cold calculating look. "Of all the people.." there was a small glimpse of disappointment and hurt before it was squashed down again. "As rot as the father.. I presume you've got a good reason?"

Harry was about to speak up, but didn't get the chance.

"I do not want to hear them. I don't want to hear you."

Harry's mouth closed shut again, giving a small nod. Tears glistening in his eyes.

"I shall gather my belongings and leave." Severus turned to do just that, but stood still when Harry cried out.

"No! Don't.."

Severus turned back around and raised his eyebrows. "No?"

"Don't go. I'll leave. Please."

"You will leave? You want me to stay in this house built on lies? I think not, Potter. You can have this hell hole."

"I will go. If you don't want to live here, then sell it. Buy your own house." Harry looked pleadingly at Severus.

"Very well. You have one hour." Severus waved his wand, and Harry's bindings keeping him down, disappeared. Harry stood up, and made a movements towards Severus, but must have thought better of it for he stopped, his head held down.

"Could I have my wand back?" He asked in a small voice. "I will take a Wizards Oath I won't use it against you."

"Very well. Make it."

"I swear upon my soul and magic I will not use my wand against you, for using it shall forfeit my magic."

Severus gave a curt not and handed over Harry's wand.

Harry waved his wand and called "accio trunk." There came a thunking noise from upstairs. Harry's old Hogwarts trunk entered the kitchen. He gave the same comment for his clothes and a few other belongings. It took him just a couple of minutes in all. Once he was done he closed his trunk now filled with his belongings and shrank it until he could pocket it. He started fidgeting with his feet. Standing on the other side of the kitchen near the door to the front door, head still down.

"I wish.. No.. I'm so... God.. I.. I never meant to hurt you, Severus," Harry sniffed his nose. "For what it's worth, I'm truly sorry."

Harry waited for Severus to speak, still not meeting his eyes. Severus didn't respond at all. He was just standing there with his arms crossed and a blank unreadable look on his face.

"I'll just leave then." Harry did look up when he said this. He gave a loud sob when he saw Severus face, for having lived with the man for several years he had got to read those eyes. Harry saw the anger and hurt still shining through.

He ran out the kitchen and through the front door, smacking it shut with a loud bang.

The second Harry was out the house, Severus took up his wand and changed the wards only allowing himself entrance.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

The first few days Severus had been mourning the lost relationship, the pleasant life he had living with Harry. He even allowed himself some tantrums behind closed doors, smacking all photos in frames on the floor or against the walls. Or when that didn't satisfy enough, burning all evidence of the happy life he had with Harry.

Once every photo, souvenir and other things that reminded him too much of Harry had been destroyed, Severus started fixing up the place, to make it presentable for selling. He had already spoken with an estate agent, whom had given him pointers. He started from bottom to top, starting with the basement. Carefully boxing all his potions supplies, throwing away all the trash, room by room the house was emptied, and that left only the basic things.

Last on his list was the attic.

The attic. There was something with the attic. Severus had actually, after the first days they had moved in, never stepped another foot there.

Quickly, Severus walked up the stairs. In the front part were some boxes. Most of them with Christmas decorations, others with junk from Severus' past he couldn't quite say goodbye to yet.

In the back of the attic, down the slanting roof, were some extra walls and a small low door. He tried opening it the normal way, but the door wouldn't budge. After that, Severus tried several spells until he succeeded. With a soft crack, the door opened.

It was very anti climatic in the least to see what was revealed behind the door. A small children's bed stood in a corner, on top of it an old, heavy weathered teddy bear. To the side was a small desk, with some drawings and a what appeared to be a diary. In the other corner was a small closet.

It didn't make sense at all. Was this some sort of child wish? They never had talked about having kids of their own, but Severus wasn't all against it. It just wasn't anything that had crossed his mind.

But a child wish wasn't anything to keep secret. Was it? Severus' eye fell on the desk again, he walked towards it, keeping eye on the low roof. He took the booklet towards the bed and sat down in it.

Opening the first page, Harry's scrawled handwriting greeted him.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

_Dear Sev,_

_We moved into our new house yesterday. It has been my dream for so long to really start a family together, with a proper place to call our home, and now it finally came true! I never dare to right out say it, but I really, really love you, Sev!_

_I just wish I could share everything about me with you, but I know I can't. That's why I have this diary. I can tell you everything in here, and then even pretend you accept it._

_I have to go now, you are calling me. Talk to you soon_

_Love,_

_Har__Your little one._

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

Severus had to swallow several times before he had himself in check. This didn't sound like his Harry at all. Not that there was 'his Harry' to start with. The signing below was weird to say the least as well.

He really didn't want to read on, for it hurted too much, but his curiosity was getting in the way. This was a mystery, and he just had to know more.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

_Dear Sev,_

_Today you agreed to make pancakes! They were the best! And it was so much fun to make them together! It was a perfect day in our new perfect life._

_Tomorrow you have to go away to some stuffy potions meeting. I feel bad because I'm gonna miss you soo bad, and I also feel a bit bad that a part of me is glad. Cause it means that I now have time to build my own room in the attic._

_I know that it's bad, Sev. I wish I could be honest about it, but I'm afraid I will lose you. I just love you so much. You are my life now. You will never treat me different just because of a stupid scar. You will tell me the truth, even if it hurts. You take care of me, in every possible way._

_Every way except one. One way that greedy little me needs to have too._

_I feel really bad now. I will make a nice drawing for you._

_Until next time, my sweet Sev._

_Love you, always._

_Your bad little one._

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

_Dear __Se __Da,_

_I finished my room today! It's really perfect! It has got a very big bed, and now I have my own desk for drawing or doing my homework. And I have a closet to fill with my special pretty clothes, I just pretend you gave me._

_Clothes that show I have a parent who takes care of me, and make me look like a good child. A good (oh my, even writing it down is hard! But I'm just gonna do it!) A good little girl!_

_Wow! It feels soo good to finally talk about it. I just wish I could tell you in person, but I know I can't. I am a freak. I learned that the hard way. After that I made a vow to never ever get caught again with my freakishness._

_Dear Daddy Sev, I wish I could call you that._

_I love you,_

_Your little girl_

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

Severus couldn't believe his eyes. His Harry (no, just Harry, not his Harry but the Harry he thought he knew) wanted to be a.. a little girl?

And him as his daddy?

Severus was just paging through the dairy until his eyes fell on one page particular. For it was filled with spots and blots.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

_Daddy!_

_I have been so bad! I freaked, and lashed out! Oh my god. You were talking about my attic, and going there._

_But you can't!_

_When you go there, you will find my room, and when you find my room you will know my secret freakishness. I can't lose you! And when you find out, you will leave me. Maybe you will be disgusted, but maybe you will even hate me for it._

_You told me you found the door to my room, but couldn't go in because of the locking spell I warded it with. I panicked. You almost were in my room, Sev! I got scared and I did the most despicable thing I could do. I hexed you, Sev. I Obliviated you. I didn't mean or want to. But I did._

_I don't deserve you. I could kill myself for hurting you. I should kill myself. If you ever find out, you will get hurt so much. You trusted me. You trust me._

_If you find out, I know I must do so._

_Please don't go up the attic again, dear Daddy._

_Your little girl, forever and ever._

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

Severus was shocked. Shocked to found out he had been hexed. He had been angry at Harry for trying to do it. But finding out he had actually done it...!

But what shocked him even more was the part where his Harry, apparently his little girl was talking about suicide. And actually doing so when he found out. Which he did.

Find out.

Oh shit!

He ran downstairs, almost flying. Downstairs he tossed floo powder in the fireplace and called out the Weasley's residence.

"Molly!" Severus called to what appeared to be an empty house.

"Please, Mrs Weasley! Are you there?"

Severus sagged in relief when he saw Molly's skirts moving towards the fireplace.

"What's all the ruckus about? Yes, I'm here Severus."

"Ma'am, it's Harry. We had a fight a couple of days ago. I think he did or is going to do something bad with himself."

Molly Weasley just swayed her head. "Nonsense, dear. Harry has been just fine. He was here just yesterday. Talking about the great time he always.. had.. spent.. here."

Molly Weasley visibly paled.

"By Merlin, Severus! He was at the twins shop today. I think they are the last ones he wanted to visit. He has visited everybody the last couple of days. Come through over here. From here on out you can floo into the shop directly.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

Harry wasn't at the twins anymore. He had just left half an hour ago, but the twins were hopeful that they could track him. They just needed a few moments.

Somehow, Severus still had the dairy in his hands, he was nervous and needed distraction, so he paged through to the last written page.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

_Dear Daddy,_

_I can't do it anymore, I need to tell you, and ust come clean about everything. I can't stand myself anymore. The more I hide and lie and even hex you, the more I die bit by bit inside. I can't even hide anymore in my own little world anymore. Once I do, I feel so guilty._

_I WILL come clean today. I have to. I hope you can forgive me for hurting you, and I hope you can accept freakish little girl me._

_I really want to stay with you. My heart is yours. You ARE my heart._

_My lover, my friend, my partner, my daddy, my dream_

_Yours, always_

_Yours in everything, but especially your little girl._

_P.s. I had a dream last night. You gave me my name. I only woke up when you were about to tell me my new name. I wish I could have heard it._

_P.p.s Love you, big time._

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

The twins had found a way to track Harry. They had made a portkey for him, right towards the current place Harry was.

It had left Severus at the roof of what appeared to be a very high building. The sky was turning dark already, which made it hard to look for Harry.

"Harry?" He called out, his heart was knocking in his throat.

"Harry! Answer me this instance!"

"Sev'rus? Is that you?"

Severus followed the sound and finally saw Harry sitting on the edge of the rooftop.

"Come here, Harry."

"I can't, Sev. I can't live knowing the hurt I have cost you. I am so so sorry, Sev."

Severus really had had enough. He just wanted Harry away from the edge, and for them to fight like two normal grown ups. Or.. not? What do they say? In for a knut?

"I don't want to hear another word from you, miss. You will go away from the edge, right now. You are grounded, missy! You hear that!?"

Harry looked up in shock "Wha..? Sev'rus?"

"I have been sick with worry for you! You must not scare me like that." Severus ended with a softer tone. "Now come here and give me a hug."

Harry was silently crying. Tears of relief? Happy tears? Scared tears? Maybe all combined together. Slowly he crawled away from the edge. When he was standing up again he hesitatingly put a step forward. When Severus opened his arms, Harry ran towards him. Locking him in a tight embrace. His whole body was shaking from crying.

"Sshhh. There now. It's ok. Everything is going to be alright now.. My little one.

Hopeful eyes looked up at Severus. "You know?"

Severus just nodded.

"You know, and you are ok with it?"

Severus nodded again. "I will need to get used to the idea, and you have a lot of explaining to do."

"Anything! Really? I can't believe.. Truly!? "

"Yes, now.. Unlike some Quidditch fanatics, I don't like heights. It would be appreciated if we could have this conversation somewhere else. Especially a bit more even floored."

"Yes, of course! ..Daddy?"

Severus didn't respond to that yet. He just kissed Harry and then apparated them both home.

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~

_Dear Daddy Sev,_

_I know your are right, and I was bad! But even though my butt had hurt for hours and hours after you smacked it, I still had to stay the whole week in my room. Well.. obviously not the whole time. But every evening! You said I had to think about my actions, but I have! And I know I was wrong! _

_I said I was sorry. I made a drawing that said sorry. I even sang you a song with sorry in it. Although I don't think that last one a good move, I still tried, and I really ,really mean it. And I will never do it again. I promise!_

_You did play with me the last week. I like playing with you! I really love the puzzle you brought for me, and on top of that the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. So mean of you I'm not allowed to wear it while my punishment still stands._

_You give the bestest hugs and cuddles! I really love the cuddles and the stories you read to me before bedtime. You have the bestest voice for reading stories._

_I can't write any longer now. You will be here soon to check if I brushed my teeth (I did) and put on my peejays (not yet) and to read me a story (yay!)._

_So this is goodbye for now._

_I love you with everything I got from head to toe!_

_P.s. Thank you for forgiving me, and accepting me for who I am._

_P.p.s You really have a sexy reading voice!_

_P.p.p.s Thank you for being my friend, partner, lover and Daddy!_

~*~|~°• •°~|~*~ HP SS ~*~|~°• •°~|~*~


End file.
